we can marvel at each other

Ted talks just get me to the core sometimes. A recent one by actress Thandie Newton is super-cheese, but she raises a touching theme. Similar to Hemingway's "we fear death because we haven't loved well enough or loved at all," (Midnight in Paris) Newton nods to the "live with each other and take it a breath at a time" warm/fuzzy.

This theme has been circulating through me for weeks. In moments of connection, we lose our fear of death. Brilliant. What Newton adds is the practice of suspending self-judgment in order to live in the moment (though I have to say, it takes her awhile to make her point). She gives the example of dancing as a time when she forgets her self-concept and simply emotes. I can think of artistic endeavors, activist projects and sports when I've felt similarly.

I'm sure many of us have activities wherein we suspend thoughts and swim in childlike pleasure, though the opportunity to practice these may be increasingly few and far between. I think the maintenance of this kind of non-judging-connected-soul-activity is vital for our adult spirituality and, plainly, key to our ability to empathize. I also think it's a social problem that this methodology of human connection seems less a part of social citizenship in our individuated/global age than it ever has been (e.g. nationally: nuclear family ethos; cuts to arts funding; (private) outsourcing of care work). To engage meaningfully, we'd need to prioritize activities for love-in-the-present and we'd all need to dare to sing together without judging the sound before it leaves our mouths.

At the risk of getting a little airy (here I go judging myself), Newton encourages that our judging self is natural and not a source of shame. The divisiveness of self-concept should be acknowledged, but not allowed to rule with authority. As she jokes, she takes hers to therapy. Funny, but points to how we're not set up to live happily the way things exist. Without meaning to, Newton makes the point that a privileged subset of the population gets to validate self -- by paying for it.

Piece of more uplifting imagery to conclude: when, on a path, the cracks in our self-concept start to reveal themselves, push in that direction even harder. The resulting experience will be real.